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I am convinced seeing that between Grandmother and Tony and my Grandfather, I emotionally survived childhood. My Grandmother wondered why I had named him Tony. I simply replied he had introduced himself as Tony and I couldn't change that fact. Tony was very insightful. There was not really a question that Tony couldn't answer. I felt so safe and comforted in most way. Once Tony stayed behind inside a accommodation and I was beside myself until he was mailed to home address. In fact it seemed that only Tony could reconcile the entire world in my experience, explain grownups, and truly bring me to a place of peace and love. When I looked into his eyes, they were alive with understanding and compassion. When I was hospitalized at age four, well, Tony was right with me at night through all of it. Finally, as a possible adult, I parted with Tony. When I found him in the box, he was tiny, tattered and gray. Where did the soul of Tony result from? Where did it go? I have always wondered.